Losing sight

Alright, so maybe I set expectations a bit high when I decided that I would start writing again on a daily basis.

Jamie and I will depart for London in ONE week. I've been talking to various friends lately who we'll be meeting up with, and I'm so excited to see all of them and be back in the city I adore.

At this rate, I'll visit London once a year. My first visit to London -- also my first overseas trip -- was in December 2004, when Alex (who had just moved there a few months prior) was the only person I knew in England. Now, I'm returning for the third time in three years, and I'll be visiting nearly a dozen friends. In addition to the number of people I know, my love for the city has grown significantly. I'm inextricably drawn to London (I mean, it's obvious why I love London, but I really, really, really LOVE London). I hope that somehow, in the future, I'll figure out a way to return for an extended period of time.

Speaking of goals, an editorial that I wrote was published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution last week. I'd promised myself that I would get an article published in the AJC before I graduated, and I was close to giving up on the goal. Ironically, I sort of regret submitting the piece -- it had many flaws, I now realize -- but it was still a wonderful moment to see my byline, photo, and original words on the editorial page.

The experience made me understand that not everyone will agree with my opinions. I'm beginning to love writing editorials, and can even envision a later career as an editorial writer, but I certainly need to be more firm and trusting in my opinions. When people devalue themselves, like I tend to do from time to time, it's quite easy for critics to hurt them.

On a similar note, in my editorial writing class on Monday we discussed whether journalists had the ability to affect the greater good through their reporting. I enthusiastically believe that we can, but so many of my peers seemed ambivalent or unsure of a journalist's power. In fact, one of the students said that her life was too important to worry about making the world a better place ... an idea I felt was completely backwards and somewhat troubling. What if everyone felt that way?

The conversation got me thinking afterwards, and only strengthened my desire to affect change. I often feel like I'm waiting for that moment, when all of the amazing opportunities I have had, and all of the idealistic dreams I do have, finally come together and reveal to me what I'm meant to do in the present. Lately, I've felt like I've been given so much, but haven't done much with it all ... in the long run, what difference have I made?

And, now I'm about to embark on yet another trip. One that probably won't benefit anyone but me. Is that completely selfish?