Best year ever.

2005 began for me in London, dancing happily with a group of strangers. I remember thinking this is the most incredible night of my life. Being cynical, I wondered whether the rest of the year go downhill from there. That wasn't the case at all. Within the past 12 months, I have had countless amazing and unforgettable experiences – the most eye-opening of which was a trip to the Middle East, the most adventurous of which was two weeks of backpacking through France and Spain. I have lived in London, spent time with amazing people from all over the world, and have been in ten different countries in this year alone.

But travelling to new places and meeting new people doesn't make someone successful or even mean that they were deserving of the opportunity in the first place. Now, at the dawn of 2006 I have returned to Atlanta, ready to begin a new stage of my life. All that remains of 2005 are the memories and knowledge that I have gained. I am now faced with the task of reflecting on the awesome opportunities I have been given and, somehow, to figure out how to make the most of what I have learned.

Before coming to London, I decided that I wanted to take the experiences I have been blessed with and use them to benefit others. As of right now, I haven't figured out how to effectively do that. Yes, I volunteered while I was overseas, but that was only temporal. It seems that, considering the large scale of the experiences I have had, whatever I come up with should have the potential of considerable magnitude.

If there is anything I learned during the past year, it is to dream big. I know that sounds cliché and trite, but it's surprising at how powerful believing in yourself and your abilities can be. My biggest weakness in life has always been a low self-esteem. Whether on the soccer field or applying for colleges, I faithfully played the role of My Own Worst Enemy and continuously sabotaged myself. I can't exactly pinpoint when the change in attitude began, but I finally learned to love myself. Since then, I have continually surprised myself with what I am capable of. Most importantly, I am now excited about my future, instead of fearful.

Saying goodbye to 2005 will be tough. From its exciting beginning, the year held countless surprises for me. For once, it seemed like the good times significantly outweighed the bad. I met many amazing people, most of whom I've had to part ways with, and have had a tantalizing glimpse of the world. I must remind myself not to dwell on the goodbyes, but rather to celebrate the fact that I got to say hello in the first place.

2006, I'm ready.

Home for the holidays

Yes, I already want to be back in London. Of course, I terribly miss the friends I've made, especially those I left behind. Without a doubt, I know that it will be tough to not romanticize the experiences I had overseas.

That all being said, I'm very happy to be home for the holidays. I'm not taking things for granted, and everything feels strangely foreign yet familiar. Spending time with my wonderful family is exactly what I wanted, and seeing old friends is a great comfort.

My mind is still racing with thoughts, and I can't fully express my thoughts on London or my semester abroad. I do miss it though.

This is a distraction from writing essays.

When I stop and think about my life, my heart begins to race. I am infinitely blessed. I can’t even begin to summarize what this experience has meant to me, nor can I fully comprehend so. I can’t accurately describe my feelings for London, or travelling, or even give a good description of what it means to be British. All I can honestly say in retrospect is that the past four months have resulted in the most character-building and priceless period of my life. I expected to come into this and learn all about the world and different cultures. While that definitely happened, I also learned and discovered a great deal about myself. If I have gained anything from this experience, it’s clarity. I have begun to see and understand what is truly important in life and what I want to do with mine. For that, I am extremely grateful.

On Sunday, I will get on a plane headed over 4,000 miles away and finally return home. It will mark the end of the greatest experience of my life, and the beginning of yet another exciting stage. In a way, Sunday could be the best day of my life. It hasn’t even begun yet. It carries infinite possibilities and glimpses of what the future holds. Sunday only brings me one step closer to realizing how the past four months have impacted me.

As for today, I am finding it harder to say goodbye to people than I ever imagined. I figured that one of the most difficult things about studying abroad would be saying goodbye and leaving home for so long. That’s not true; because, no matter how hard the goodbye, you take solace in the fact that you will return. Today, however, I can’t say comforting things like “It won’t seem that long,” or “We’ll see each other soon enough.” To be honest, I probably won’t see many of the people that I’ve met ever again. That’s the problem with meeting people from all over: they’re easy to fall in love with, but difficult to stay in touch with.

But, once again, I realize how fortunate I am. During the next two days I will be surrounded by friends, acknowledging how much we mean to each other. Following that, I will be greeted at the airport by family and my all-time favorite guy. To be loved by such amazing people on two different continents is a blessing indeed.

Goodnight everyone. Tomorrow is a new day.

Reflections

In retrospect, I'm really glad I decided to keep this online journal. I decided to make it fairly accessible to people, and realized that I was writing to a diverse audience. Not only has The Return Trip been a great way to update multiple people on my experiences here, it has given me a way to reflect on everything.

Once I get home, I will undoubtedly miss traveling and living in London. I will miss the friends I've met and the endless adventures we've had. Fortunately, I can always read this journal and remember how blessed I am.

Although I won't write here nearly as often as I have since arriving overseas, I plan to revisit this journal from time to time, for travel-related stories or musings. And, of course, if I ever wind up living overseas again, I may return to frequent updates.

With less than a week remaining until I leave, I wanted to thank everyone who kept in touch via inspiring emails or comments. Thank you for reading this blog in the first place. Knowing that there were people back home who cared about me and supported my actions made my time overseas that much more enjoyable. Because of you, returning to the States doesn't seem that bad after all.

Expect a long, rambling post (or two) before I leave. Do not, however, expect it to even come close to accurately or coherently summing up the past four months.

Am I ready to leave or not? It's such a bizarre feeling to be torn between two places that are so far apart. Conflicted doesn't seem like a strong enough word in this case.

Conflicting views of success

In terms of school work, I have wasted the past two days. In terms of having a good time and making memories that last, I've been extremely productive.

Hopefully, I can achieve a good balance of the two extremes during my last week here. I have 3 1/2 essays left to write, and quite a few plans with friends.

Yesterday, I went to the London Zoo with a group of friends. We spent the entire day there and had a wonderful time. Later that evening, Middlesex's Christmas party was cancelled because of problems with the heat, so an impromptu party happened instead. The entire day made me realize how much I'm going to miss my British mates.

Today was mostly spent in bed, unfortunately. I will get some work done tonight. Planning on another day in the British Library tomorrow.

Jason's on the top of my list of those I'm going to miss. We've already made plans to see each other, in the States and England. I'm determined to make it happen.

p.s. The snake was an excellent purchase from the zoo.

Allure, unexplained.

It's no secret that I have fallen in love with this city. It's frustrating to discover that I can't accurately describe what makes London so great or properly summarize what the city means to me.

After a few fruitless attempts at trying to describe this great city, I decided to resort to the words of Samuel Johnson, a man far more eloquent than me:

“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life;

for there is in London all that life can afford.”

Though he was speaking about London in the 18th-century, things haven't changed. If anything, his words are more truthful today. I do love London. I will miss the city itself more than anything else. Maybe I'll attempt to write about this amazing place when I’m not so overwhelmed.

Time is slipping by so quickly. Instead of spending my last weeks -- days! -- enjoying London, I've been holed up in a library surrounded by books and papers like virtually every other over-burdened college student in the world. Fortunately, I'm not letting procrastination or writer's block get the best of me. I'm determined to salvage a little personal time for friends and the city I adore before I go.

Tomorrow, I've decided to multitask and work in the British Library instead of the suffocating one here on campus. Although I'll still be writing papers, I'll be surrounded by millions and millions of amazing books, in one of the world's greatest libraries. Plus, if I need a study break, I can check out some original Beatles manuscripts or Leonardo da Vinci's notebook. Brilliant.

Damn. I'm going to miss this city.

It's all in how you look at it, baby.

Dublin wasn't the most spectacular city I've been to at all. The weather was awful, and there were times that I longed for the days of traveling solo. That being said, I still enjoyed myself. While Dublin is hardly the biggest or prettiest or most charming city in the UK, it's a great place to visit because of the people. I love the Irish. They're friendly, fun-loving, and know how to make the best of any situation.

Peter and I spent hours in small pubs enjoying traditional Irish music and watching locals dance. Within a few minutes of arriving at the first pub, I saw two men in kilts, countless people drinking Guinness and dancing, and a band complete with banjo, fiddle, guitar, bodhran and flute. It's interesting to go to a new place and discover what misconceptions and uneducated stereotypes you had. Sometimes, it's even more interesting to see stereotypes actually exist.

Although I'd hardly qualify myself as a fan of Guinness, the extensive brewery tour gave me a new respect for the beverage. Another highlight of the trip happened by chance yesterday afternoon, while Peter and I were wandering around looking for last-minute things to do. We went into the Christchurch Cathedral and, instead of having to pay the admission charge, we were treated to a free recital of Irish Christmas songs. Beautiful.

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So, now I have less than two weeks remaining until I return home. I'm actually looking forward to it -- much more so than I expected to. I think Christmas is a perfect time to be coming home. Everything Christmas-related has definitely made me homesick and helped me realize that there's no substitute for family during the holidays. I've gotten the sweetest emails and messages from friends back home, and I'm really looking forward to moving into a new house.

There's no doubt that I will miss the people I've met here and that I will suffer from major London withdrawals. That being said, there's a lot to look forward to in Atlanta. Being here has made me realize how incredible my friends are back home and has given me a newfound appreciation for the States, Atlanta, and even the South.

Of course, I also don't have to be terribly sad because I know that -- if I am determined enough -- I will return to London someday. I haven't even begun to see and experience the world yet. This is just the beginning, kids.

Does it get any better than this?

I'm leaving for Dublin in an hour. My flatmate Peter and I will be there until Saturday night. It seems like I just got back from Amsterdam. I guess I did.

I actually got a lot accomplished during the past three days in London. I started working on a presentation and finished just in time for class this morning. I made it to both volunteering sessions this week, and conducted my second interview for my feature article. I also completed and mailed my application for an internship at The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I'm not feeling necessarily confident in it, but that partly has to do with the fact that I'm completely unaware of what my competition is like.

Last night I was able to cross off two major items on my London to-do list. Emily and I went ice skating at Somerset House -- although it was crowded, the location was gorgeous and I miraculously didn't fall once. Afterwards, I rushed to meet Alex who surprised me earlier with an offer of a spare football ticket. Attending a football match was one thing I sadly figured I wouldn't be able to do while I was here, and I was so excited to get the chance to go. Even though the teams (Charlton and Blackburn) aren't hugely popular, the stadium was the biggest one I've ever been in to see a soccer game. The best part of the game was the fans -- the chanting, booing and enthusiasm were exactly as I expected. Although it was freezing and wet the entire time, I enjoyed every minute of the match.





Off to Ireland.

What am I going to do for entertainment when I get home?